All of us want to be successful as swingers. The best way to be accepted is to be polite and respectful.
Manners in the Swinging Lifestyle are pretty much the same as we use in our daily lives, based around thoughtfulness and common courtesy.
Be aware that many people in the lifestyle have insecurities, uncertainties and fears. Everyone should be treated with courtesy, kindness, thoughtfulness, understanding and sensitivity. Basically, courtesy is you treating other people the way you want to be treated.
Even if you are not interested in swinging with someone, be polite. You never know, you may share interests other than swinging or you may meet that person again, and they may introduce you to someone with whom you ARE compatible and with whom you do wish to share time.
RSVP means please reply to the invitation. It does not mean reply only if you plan to attend. The most frustrating part of hosting, be it a party, a group or another couple, is people who are discourteous enough not to respond. Good manners and good social courtesy requires you to respond by either calling or writing to say yes or no.
When you go to someone's home for a party, ask if there is something you can bring. (it's amazing how many supplies, other than food are used up at an average party.) If you are not going as a couple, a house - gift is appropriate (and not necessarily wine.) If you are attending a paid party or a club no gift is expected or necessary.
Take whatever you personally are going to need with you. Carry a small overnight bag for lingerie or robe, hairbrush, comb, toothbrush, cologne, intimate cleansing articles, condoms, etc.. If you plan to stay over, sleeping bags or blankets and pillows are necessities.
Beware, not everyone is comfortable in all situations, keep your eyes open for signs that your partner is relaxed and enjoying themselves. If they are not comfortable, try talking to them to help them through the rough spots.
Nothing turns a person off faster and more effectively than an unclean body or un-fresh breath. Even if you shower and perfume yourself before you leave home, it is always a good idea to freshen up again when you arrive at your destination. Long journeys and meals will usually mean that some hygene repairs will be required before the party.
If you are interested in swinging with someone, let them know in an inviting way; if they are interested, they will respond positively. If they are not and say "No, thank you," do not ask WHY. No amount of sweet talk or coercion on your part will change their mind and will probably work against you. Everyone has the right to say "NO" at all times, to anyone, without explanation. Do not ever forget that.
Do not allow yourself to become sexually involved with anybody that you are not interested in. There is no reason to involve yourself in a scene that you are not comfortable with. You are in the lifestyle to enjoy yourself, so only do what you want, when you want and with whom you want.
Most of us do not use drugs, although some of us drink socially. At times, a few drinks are nice to help you "relax". Over indulging may hamper your physical abilities, as well as offend or turn other people off to you. If you have to over indulge in order to participate in swinging, you are involved in the wrong lifestyle.
One of the basic etiquette's in swinging is the right of anyone to say "No" at anytime. Not everyone is compatible with everybody else. Improper handling of a situation, can however lead to a lot of hurt or very bad feelings. In the Swinging Lifestyle everyone has the right to say "No" to anyone at anytime and it should be done with a simple "No thank you". Never give an explanation, because that would probably upset the person further.
It is up to us to protect ourselves as well as our partners. With the present concern over sexually transmitted diseases such as syphilis, gonorrhea, aids, yeast infection, etc.., the use of condoms should not offend anybody. Anyone not willing to take this precaution is acting selfishly and irresponsibly. Being asked to use a condom is not an accusation that you are unclean, but simply someone wishes to protect the health of both of you.
If you have enjoyed attending a party it is good manners to let the hosts know. It only takes a few minutes to drop your hosts a email, text or WhatsApp message to thank them for their hospitality. Don't you like to be thanked?
Most important, have a great time, act out your fantasies, explore your own sexuality and let your partner explore theirs, and enjoy everything this lifestyle has to offer with enthusiasm, laughter and a positive attitude.